Victoria Hetherington

Jul. 5

So this is my micro lavender garden – little cut sprigs that are slowly growing roots in water. I used to go on long walks to outrun anxiety, and even in winter, I’d see lavender bushes with the oil still so fragrant in the cold, and I’d smell their branches, and feel calm.

What music have you been listening to lately?

This is super odd, but I’m addicted to a YouTube channel that slows pop songs from the 40s, 60, 70s, and 90s waaaaay down -- The BeeGees have these low, growly voices, and so on – they’re all distorted and eerie and you can’t understand the words anymore, which helps when I’m trying to make up words of my own.

What’s in your fridge right now?

A pizza with wilted spinach, feta and stewed tomatoes – it was phenomenal when it was hot and fresh, about four days ago. At this point I’ve become attached to it.

Who is the last character you related to and why?

I’m really into the Real Housewives Extended Universe – it’s the perfect intersection of soap opera, sociology class, and reality TV, and it’s often just magnificent to watch. During lockdown, I felt like I’d socialized after a dinner party episode (even if it ended in smashed wine glasses and tears, as they often do.) So: most recently, I related to Kim Richards. Her pathos is so intense, it’s a potent mix of former child star fragility and recovering addict vulnerability, and it smells distinctly like stale Camel cigarettes and an Ariana Grande fragrance borrowed from her daughter, and I’m all about it. I want to hug her and reassure her it’ll be okay. I wish I could extend the same grace to myself.

Have you ever failed at something you care about?

All the time! My first manuscript was a spectacular failure – it’s stored in an ancient hard drive that I can’t bear to throw away. Man was it bad.

Last gift you received?

Oh! A really sweet little cactus in a ceramic pot shaped like a cat. It was so perfect I almost cried.

Favourite photo you’ve taken?

I took a photo from the top of Arthur’s Seat, a great big shouldery hill in Edinburgh, right as the sun was setting. I think I captured my own feet, my friend’s hand, and the torn-apart remainders of the cheese and bread we’d shared. The photo turned out too dark, not very good at all, but it was a lovely memory, and I don’t think I’d have recalled it without the photo. It’s blurry, a little weird. It’s my favourite. I hardly took photos at all for years because (I thought) the medium couldn’t possibly capture a moment – it might sort of flatten it out, ruin the magic and specificity of it – but as I’ve gotten older I’ve softened on that. Photos are wonderful memory prompts, and once things are gone, man are they gone.

Best season?

Autumn! I’m one of those freaks who stays indoors during the summer while everyone else frolics and gets mostly naked and bursts with joy and plays ultimate frisbee and otherwise functions as normal, exuberant people. I’m happy just to look out the window a bit. But once it gets cooler, and the trees swell up with their leaves, and they start to fall – I love it. Autumn is so wistful and lovely. It’s a great backdrop for writing. I find it deeply romantic.

Least favourite household chore?

Oh god, vacuuming. You have a pretty good idea when a dish is clean, right? And then you dry it and it’s done. But a carpet, for example – the more I sweep the vacuum over it, the more its fibres bristle with sharp crumbs and cherry stems and shoe grime just to spite me. Likely I’m bad at it. Maybe there’s a metaphor in there somewhere.

Best outfit?

My favourite dress of all time was ten dollars, floor-length, and – from maybe ten feet away – looked like was completely covered in sequins. The sequins, however, were just tiny stickers, so I could only wear the dress a few times. I wore it one New Years’ a few years ago, and spent the night in the kitchen, hovering near the stove, turning it on by accident a few times with my butt. It was great.

Do you like to write in the morning or at night?

Oh, the morning! I’m racing to finish a project, and this morning I had cold coffee ready to go in the fridge – it tasted great, if not dissimilar from the aforementioned pizza – and started writing before the pressure of my own company set in. My imagination is bolder, broader in the morning, and kind of crowds up and compresses all day. Sort of like how our spines compress a full centimetre by nighttime.

When did you first receive praise for your writing?

I joined a writing seminar in my first year of university, and when it was my week to workshop a piece, the author who led the seminar – who was really quite nice – said once, “Tory’s smarter than she looks.” I lived off that compliment for a good month or so.

What do you consider to be your first rejection?

I was about nine, I’d written what I’d consider to be a first short story – a proto-story, like the Victorian proto-hippopotamus – and a family friend I completely idolized told me, from a really kind place, that I really should focus on more realistic pursuits. Perhaps regrettably, I didn’t.

Latest book you’ve read?

I’m rereading ‘My Year of Rest and Relaxation.’ I love Ottessa Moshfegh so much.

Anything you’d like to promote?

My novel Autonomy came out this Spring, and I’m completely blown away by the audiobook – Sierra Kline is a phenomenally talented voice actor. Give it a listen if you’d like! https://www.audible.ca/pd/Autonomy-Audiobook/B09R2K4B6L